What Keeps You Sane...

Running a 10K race in Atlanta on July 4, 2012

During our training at MTI, we talked a lot about staying healthy while on the mission field. Not just physically healthy, but emotionally, spiritually and mentally healthy. It was reiterated many times to us that it's important to discover the things that you need to stay healthy, the activities that best rejuvenate you and help keep you sane.

When Nate and I were raising support, we tried to regularly make time for things that we enjoyed and that were restful. We needed these things to help carry us through a stressful time of constant transition. It was really helpful for me to discover these things for myself before we got to Austria, so that when life has gotten stressful here, I know how to refocus and how to care for my mind and body in the most effective ways. For me, those things are running/exercising, organizing/getting small tasks done (removing from my space so I can relax), cooking with Nate, and being alone (I'm an introvert!).

Our first month back in Austria this spring was stressful. It wasn't necessarily that we had deadlines to meet or a very full schedule all the time (we were mostly making our own schedule), but I felt an underlying level of stress for several weeks. And now looking back, I can very clearly see why. I wasn't able to spend much time doing any of the things in that list above that help me relax and keep me sane. Our apartment was unfurnished, chaotic and full of clutter, with boxes and furniture assembly happening everywhere. I couldn't fix this and that meant I couldn't really relax in our home. I got sick with Bronchitis for 3 weeks and wasn't allowed to exercise. We couldn't do much cooking, because all we had to work with were 1 small pot and 1 pan. Although from the outside, my life may not have appeared stressful, I realize now that without those things, I struggled to release my stress in a constructive way.

This last week has been wonderfully rejuvenating for me. I have returned to running, we've been cooking with all of our beloved kitchen utensils, our home is organized again, and I've been able to rest and relax. My time with the Lord has improved and become more regular now that my stress level has gone down. Once again, the importance of these activities in my life, the things that "keep me sane", has been re-confirmed. 

I may need to re-learn this lesson over and over again, as we enter new phases of life, but I'm thankful that MTI and support raising prepared me for this. They armed me with the self-knowledge to stay healthy on the mission field.

I was blind but now I see...

A few days ago, Nate and I were climbing and I got whacked in my right eye by my climbing rope. Not a big deal at first (I recovered after a few minutes), but when I woke up Friday morning, I knew something wasn't right. Friday afternoon, I went to see an Ophthalmologist and learned that I had scratched my cornea. After a few uncomfortable tests and a prescription, I was sent on my way.

Friday night and Saturday were supposed to be a "spiritual retreat" for us. We went up to Evanston, IL to stay in a hotel and spend time in prayer and meditation. But Friday night and most of Saturday were really rough for me...my vision was blurry and I was in pain. It took me about 3 hours to fall asleep and on Saturday, I spent 3 - 4 hours laying down with my eyes closed to give them a rest.

I write all of this not to seek out sympathy, but to share the lessons God taught me over the last 24 hours. I was very frustrated when we arrived in Evanston... I had been looking forward to this retreat and having time to relax and renew. Instead, all I could think about was my eye and how uncomfortable I was. I was discouraged that it seemed like our spiritual retreat would be ruined for me. However, God took a bad situation and used it for good. Here are a few things I learned through this experience...

• God speaks when we are quiet and still. Most people who know me know that I don't sit still very well. Even when I have free time, I fill it with something. With my eye, I was forced to lay still for hours... I couldn't even read or study or watch TV. So Nate read scripture to me and I spent time praying, meditating (we read some of Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline) and napping. In the end, it was very restful and spiritually rejuvenating. God used the situation to remind me what it means to actually rest. Hopefully, he won't have to use injury to teach me this lesson again in the future!

• Oh, what joy the blind man must have felt... When Jesus heals the blind man (recounted in Mark 22), Jesus told the man not to tell people about his healing experience. It must have been so difficult to keep that inside! When I was without sight for only 24 hours, I was desperate to get my eyes back to normal. 24 hours! That is nothing compared to a lifetime. I can only imagine the joy the blind man felt and how much he wanted to shout it from the mountain tops.

• Our bodies are fragile. My eye was injured in such a quick instant. And just as quickly, any of our bodies would be taken from us. How much more should we use every day to glorify God and live out the gospel! I forget this all the time and I assume that each day, I will wake up alive and healthy. Instead, I should be living with a sense of urgency, striving to use my time of earth as well as I can while I am still here.

• It's ok to depend on someone else. I've always been pretty self-sufficient and independent...but being incapacitated meant I needed help from Nate. It was really freeing to ask for help and receive it. It's probably no surprise that I act self sufficient in my relationship with God, as well as my relationships with other people. Being forced to depend on Nate reminded me that I should also function with dependence on God. Simple concept, but hard to put into practice. In life, I act like I can see clearly and make my own decision, when in actuality I truly am "blind" with sin and need God to lead me.

In case you're wondering, my eye is now improving and should be healed in a few days. But hopefully I'll ponder these things I've learned even after I can see again!