What Keeps You Sane...

Running a 10K race in Atlanta on July 4, 2012

During our training at MTI, we talked a lot about staying healthy while on the mission field. Not just physically healthy, but emotionally, spiritually and mentally healthy. It was reiterated many times to us that it's important to discover the things that you need to stay healthy, the activities that best rejuvenate you and help keep you sane.

When Nate and I were raising support, we tried to regularly make time for things that we enjoyed and that were restful. We needed these things to help carry us through a stressful time of constant transition. It was really helpful for me to discover these things for myself before we got to Austria, so that when life has gotten stressful here, I know how to refocus and how to care for my mind and body in the most effective ways. For me, those things are running/exercising, organizing/getting small tasks done (removing from my space so I can relax), cooking with Nate, and being alone (I'm an introvert!).

Our first month back in Austria this spring was stressful. It wasn't necessarily that we had deadlines to meet or a very full schedule all the time (we were mostly making our own schedule), but I felt an underlying level of stress for several weeks. And now looking back, I can very clearly see why. I wasn't able to spend much time doing any of the things in that list above that help me relax and keep me sane. Our apartment was unfurnished, chaotic and full of clutter, with boxes and furniture assembly happening everywhere. I couldn't fix this and that meant I couldn't really relax in our home. I got sick with Bronchitis for 3 weeks and wasn't allowed to exercise. We couldn't do much cooking, because all we had to work with were 1 small pot and 1 pan. Although from the outside, my life may not have appeared stressful, I realize now that without those things, I struggled to release my stress in a constructive way.

This last week has been wonderfully rejuvenating for me. I have returned to running, we've been cooking with all of our beloved kitchen utensils, our home is organized again, and I've been able to rest and relax. My time with the Lord has improved and become more regular now that my stress level has gone down. Once again, the importance of these activities in my life, the things that "keep me sane", has been re-confirmed. 

I may need to re-learn this lesson over and over again, as we enter new phases of life, but I'm thankful that MTI and support raising prepared me for this. They armed me with the self-knowledge to stay healthy on the mission field.

Getting Acquainted with Failure

Language learning has been a great experience for us so far. We are having a lot of fun, and it is amazing how quickly we are progressing. It is encouraging to look over the last two months and see how much we have grown in our language skills. I still remember what it felt like to have an entire conversation in German for the first time. I didn't understand everything, but I was able to express my ideas and understand the gist of what the other person was saying. Cool! But here is the thing. Even in the face of all this learning, we have also become close friends with failure.

We fail all the time. We make mistakes in class, when we are doing our home work, when we write anything or speak to anyone. We can't get away from it no matter how much we try. If we were to completely form all of our sentences and check them against every grammar table and dictionary, we would never say a word. One phrase has really stuck with me from our language training in Colorado: "You have to destroy the language on your way to mastering it."

Failure has become a close friend as we continue to live with the language barrier...but pressing into our failure also brings about humility. In our language class, there are lawyers, architects, and micriobiologists - all highly educated, highly competent people. And in class, you find us all speaking at a kindergarten level about zoo animals and going to the super market. We are being humbled. We know that we need to make 1,000,000 language mistakes on our way to mastering German, and so we have decided to start now and get as many as we can out of the way! We want to make accepting failure a step towards success, and this is the perfect testing ground to work out that idea.

Photo credit: lyns from morguefile.com

A New Attitude

Photo credit: grietgriet from morguefile.com

Last Friday, we completed two weeks of PILAT training at MTI, which stands for "Program In Language Acquisition Techniques". The training was not specific to the language we will learn (German), but instead, focused on preparing us and equipping us to learn another language. The training was absolutely invaluable. We learned about phonetics and linguistics, practiced language learning activities, and discussed the process of language learning, including how to best reach fluency.

One of my biggest takeaways was my attitude change. Going into language learning up to this point, I was nervous. Although I was a good student in school, learning a language to actually use and communicate is totally different from language learning in high school! And fear of the unknown was getting the best of me. I was also going into the adventure with a "grin and bear it" attitude. If I hunker down and study a lot, like I did in school, I can get through...right?

But PILAT completely reframed my attitude. I now have an entire workbook of activities I can do in the community and with a language helper that will help me to actually use and speak the language, not just read and write. I now have confidence in a method that has stood the test of time. I have practical steps to take, which reduce my fear and uncertainty.

One of the lessons from PILAT that really stuck with me were their "5 premises":

1. Language is a natural himan capability.
2. Language is a person, creative production.
3. Language is a social, interactive activity.
4. Language is a cultural, historical expression.
5. Language is a structured, governed system.

These premises really get at the core of language and, surprisingly, brought me comfort. They reinforce that my brain has been made to learn a language! God created us to communicate and our brain is capable of so much in terms of language use. I'm excited to discover that!

When I learn German, I may learn differently than anyone else because language is personal and creative. There is nothing wrong with that. Everyone speaks their own language a little differently; this is another place where my personality can come out.

In the end, language will help us discover and understand Austrian culture in a deeper way. It all comes back to our motivation - why are we on this journey? To communicate the gospel. We are not learning German to buy bread at the store or to read the Austrian newspapers...we are learning to interact with Austrians and communicate God's love. When we continually go back to the importance of communication in ministry, we are motivated to continue in language learning.

Which language learning premise resonates with you and why?

The Most Important Word in Language Learning

Nate making vowel sounds into a mirror

Our last week and half has been something 'totally different.' We transitioned from SPLICE training, where we talked about animals such as owls, turtles and ducks to gaining tools to learn a new language at the PILAT program.  The program has been very valuable as we pursue learning a new language in Austria. We now have many activities to explore the language and the culture with child-like eyes.

Recently in class, someone said, "I can't say that word." The leader of the PILAT program, who has an immense wealth of experience, responded, "You cannot have incomplete sentences in language learning. You must instead say, 'I can't say that word yet."

He went on to explain how important the world 'yet' is in language learning. When you tell yourself, "I can't say that word", there is a finality to it. It communicates to yourself, "I will never say that word right."  

But when we add 'yet' to those statements, we add hope. When we say, "I can't say that word, yet" or "I can't make that sound yet", we look forward to a time when  we can make that sound. We look forward to when we can hear the difference between those two sounds. We keep working on making that sounds, because we are confident we will get it right eventually. Hope looks to the future; it looks to possibilities. 


This hope is really exciting for us. It looks into the monumental task of learning a language with an attitude of hope. We are excited for the possibilities of learning and growing when we arrive in Austria! And when we get discouraged in the long journey of language learning, we will remind ourselves, "We are not there...yet. But we will be."


This applies to many other areas of life. When we say "I'll never learn to do that" or "I'd love to try that, but it would be too hard for me", we remove the possibility of ever achieving our hopes and goals. But if we add 'yet,' we have continual hope of learning something new, venturing into uncharted territory, making new discoveries, and allowing God to use us in ways we never thought possible. In situations that seem too difficult or too scary, let's try the word 'yet'. It brings hope for the future!


Question:
What statements do you need to add a 'yet' to? 

Experiencing Community

Over 40 adults and 30 kids that attending SPLICE training with us

Last Friday, we finished up the SPLICE training at MTI and said goodbye to most of our fellow missionaries (just a few are staying on for the next two weeks with us). It is amazing how close we got to these new friends during our 3 weeks at MTI. We lived in community together, which meant we ate all 3 meals together everyday, lived in the same building, and spent time hanging out and playing games nearly every evening. We also went through very emotional times of processing together in class, sharing our hurts, fears, grief, loss, joys and anxieties. We worshiped and studied scripture together. We bonded over the fact that we don't have homes to go back to, we don't know what our futures hold, and we are in transition. We identified with each other in the challenges we're facing and those that are ahead.

It was sad to see our many friends leave, but we are so thankful for the chance to live in community with them. After being "nomadic" for so long, Nate and I were really refreshed by times of just having fun with friends! We haven't lived near close peer friends for awhile, and this was a void we didn't realized until we got here.

Lord willing, we will get the chance to meet up with these friends again in cities around the world, as we continue in our missionary careers. We look forward to seeing how God will keep us connected and use us all in our respective ministries!

The Beauty of Colorado

It has really been a joy for us to complete our training in the great state of Colorado. When free times come (which sometimes feel few and far between), we have really enjoyed getting out and exploring the sites with our new missionary friends. Here are a few shots from our time here over the last 3 weeks!

 

Posing at the top of Pike's Peak (which we drove up...not hiked!)

Mountains on the way up to Pike's Peak. The tree line you see near the bottom is around 12,000 ft, but the top is over 14k!

Beautiful mountain wild flowers

Our MTI group at the top of the Peak. I have my sunglasses on because this was moments before a bug flew in my eye! The photos preceding this are quite entertaining :)

Did you know Big Foot was a threat in CO?

Exploring Garden of the Gods

Cactus flower

Nate caught this photo of a beautiful butterfly!

Hiking the Reservoir trails in Palmer Lake, just a mile from our training facility.

Processing Grief and Loss

During the third week of our training out here in Colorado, we spend time acknowledging and processing the grief and loss that we are experiencing as we move overseas. Unexpectedly, this ended up being one of the most valuable parts of the SPLICE training for me.

First, we spent time discussing these main areas of our life that we will experience loss:

1. Stable Nest or Home - a loss of the familiar, of a place offering warmth, comfort and safety
2. Safety - a loss of physical and emotional safety and comfort
3. Competence - Who are you when you are stripped of your ability to contribute? This is a loss of being able to be competent in the presence of others
4. Identity - a loss of how you identify yourself in roles here in the States, whether that be family relationships, job, areas of skill and gifts, etc.
5. Support system - A loss of the relational support system we have here, as well as entering into a lifestyle that is a revolving door of relationships
6. Quickly and easily attained goals - Entering into a new culture and ministry means a loss of control over being easily effective in your vocation and quickly attaining your goals

After we discussed these areas, we had the opportunity to walk around the room and write down on large pieces of paper the specific losses we were feeling and anticipating. It was an emotional experience, as I acknowledged my fears and the losses that make my heart ache...the loss of close friendships, my skills and abilities, having my family close by, having the close and in-person support my mom when I become a mother someday, the loss of a home for what will eventually be nearly 2 years in transition, and lots of other losses. Although it was hard to talk about these things, it was also very healthy and cathartic for me to share them with a group of people who are experiencing the same griefs. There was freedom to share in a place of safety and understanding.

We also meditated on scripture that bring comfort and understanding in times of grief. Psalm 139 is one of my favorites, reminding me that God understands my heart and my thoughts, and no matter what side of the ocean I'm on, He is there with me.

Psalm 139: 1-10
You have searched me, Lord,
    and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways. 
Before a word is on my tongue
    you, Lord, know it completely. 
You hem me in behind and before, 
   and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

How can you identify with these feelings of loss when you've gone through a time of transition?

Mission Training International Week 1

Bethany and I have been at Mission Training International in Palmer Lake, CO for the last week. We have made it through dehydration (we are up at 7,000 ft or so), new people, and full days of discussing challenging issues we will face as we go about the process of crossing cultural barriers.

We have been talking about different metaphors to help us process through the changes that we have and will experience. We talked about two ducks. The first is our "yay" duck. These are times in our life where we have things to celebrate; these are the things we are excited about and thankful for. The other is our "yuck" duck. That duck is the times in our life that are hard and the challenges and struggles we face.

The hard part about transition, including going to the mission field, is that the two ducks travel together. When we experience change, we have things that we look forward to and things that will be hard. And we can't separate them - they move together. This is the paradox (pair-of-ducks) of transition.

We will continue to share what we're learning as the weeks progress. For now, here are some pictures from our time here. Enjoy!

Nate was a visual aid for how we are all affected by expectations

The mountain behind the MTI building

The sun setting behind the mountains

This is our part of the valley

The MTI building