Monday, March 19, 2012

Redeeming Broken Vows

Last weekend, Bethany and I celebrated the wonderful wedding of good friends. The weekend was great for me for several reasons. I took many deep breaths of relational fresh air with friends I don't see much, but people that are honest, loving and wonderful to be around. I also got to meet or reconnect with people I only knew a little and have some very intentional conversations with them. Finally, it was also a time to celebrate how God works to bring two people together, in love with one another and with a love based on Him. It was a beautiful week that I will remember for a very long time.

Throughout the whole week, I remembered details from our wedding (three years ago next month). I was reminded of small things that I had forgotten and emotions I had on that momentous day.

One highlight of last week for me was the wedding ceremony itself. It was longer than most ceremonies I have been a part of, but it was very intentional, with responsive readings and well thought out music selections. Thoughtfulness trumped boredom as we all marveled at the beauty of our Creator and the gifts that He gives us.

A memory from our wedding almost 3 years ago
The moment that grabbed me the most was the sharing of the wedding vows. It brought back a flood of emotions and memories for what it felt like to say our vows. I remember how much I believed and felt the things that I was saying on our wedding day. I almost think it is naive how much I hoped I would fulfill those vows.  As I heard my friends commit to one another, a feeling of remorse and repentance flowed over me.  I thought back to all the small ways over the last three years that I had broken my wedding vows to Bethany. Whether it was by not putting her first or not gracefully leading our relationship, there were so many ways that I had failed her. 

As these thoughts and emotions flowed over me, I also thought of the grace that she has extended to me over these last three years. In the face of that remorse and repentance, the thought of that grace was sweeter than ever. It gave me a marvelous picture of God's grace towards me.

I am truly grateful that we got to celebrate the wedding of our great friends, and I am also grateful to be married to such a wonderful woman.


  1. I found your repetition of the word 'intentional' very interesting. This is a word that has come into vogue only recently. I believe it has to do with the obvious shallowness of normal daily relationships. After all, shouldn't everything we do always be 'intentional?' What would the alternative be? 'Casual?' I believe most of what folks do nowadays is 'Casual.' I am so convinced that this is true that I wrote a book about it called, "The Casual Christian." It chronicles all the ways the Christian community has trivialized the Word of God by its take it or leave it attitude towards obedience.

    The problem goes from top leadership of the largest megachurches and denominations to the lowliest believer. Not only is the Catholic Church rife with sexual perversion, but many Protestant churches and missions are affected. Pedophiia is endemic in the Southern Baptist denomination according to TEAM mission leaders protected a man who sexually abused my little boy and four other young children. They disavowed any responsibility for putting this man on the field or supervising him. My boy became so violent because of the rage he had been harboring that we had to send him to boarding school to protect the family. I spent my entire life savings on therapy, went deep in debt, and lost my family and yet TEAM refused to pay a single penny of the costs their missionary's actions forced upon me.

  2. thanks for opening up and sharing. Sin is horrible and is not just limited to outside the community of faith. Most statics say that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 6 men have been a victim of an experience similar to what you describe. I am sorry to hear about your experiences.

    I think Casual, instinctive or any of those phrases describe a life that isn't founded on the gospel.


Leave a note or thought here, One condition, you have to be nice. Who knows, you might spark a great discussion!