Running Around and Chasing a Ball

I (Nate) tend to enjoy solo sports. It is fun to compete against myself and see how I grow as I train and work hard. But when a guy at our church wanted to start a soccer group, I jumped at the chance to build relationships with some of the younger guys in our church. I also love the chance to stay fit and run around. I have accepted the fact that many of these guys have been playing soccer a lot longer than I have and are way more skilled, but I can run hard and have a good time. This last weekend, we had a practice tournament against a few other teams on Saturday morning. It can be hard for me to make time for an event like this. Saturdays are important family times, as well as the chance to spend time with people we are connected to inside and outside of the church. But I think this time with these guys is also important. So as we stepped out onto the field, I was genuinely curious how the day would go.

Well first things first, we lost... Every. Game. It was hard to be at the bottom of the pile. I played defense most of the game, and man, some of the other offensive players were small and fast and just way beyond my abilities. In no way did my few seasons of grade school and middle school soccer prepare me to face these guys. I honestly didn't expect anything different for myself. I knew it was going to be a challenge, but I am not sure I expected it to go this badly. I had heard we hadn't done well in previous games, but I didn't know that we would lose all of our games. And that we would lose them so decisively. Most of the other teams were just better. But here is something I realized: this is practice. Not just actual match practice. Not that we are practicing soccer. We are practicing life. This brings up a basic question: How do I handle failure? What do I do when I screw up? What do I do when it feels like the failure of your team is someone else's fault? How easy is it to undervalue my own failures and overvalue others? Once you start thinking of things this way, it can be hard to stop asking these sorts of questions. Each question has a subtly different answer. Each question peels back the layers, showing us the selfishness and sinfulness in each of our hearts.

The challenge is we often face true failure so seldom in regular life, that it can be hard to apply the personal gains to the next instance. But in this environment, where we get to accelerate the exposure, we can also learn more about it in our own lives. I said this is retrospect to a few people after the games, and the more I process it, the deeper in strikes home for me. The way we win or lose is far more important than the outcome. Displaying godly character is far more important than a number on a page. Scoring goals is fun. Winning is fun as well, but my identity is not defined by the number on the page.

I think the ultimate question I'm sorting through here is: Is there a Christian way to win and lose? Can we glorify God and be a witness in how we treat people when emotions are high on the field? I've seen it before, and I strive to model it as well. I want to be someone that works hard, that pushes and gives it my all, but also someone who doesn't lose a kindness that stems from remembering the image of God in each of my fellow teammates and the people I'm playing against. It is possible to show people Christ as we play together because I've seen it. I've seen players that work hard, but are selfless and charitable. I've seen and made my best effort to grab onto the chances to encourage others and to tell them when they did well. This is a habit that should extend into our daily life. We should be generous with our encouragement.

I found this to a be a pretty valuable experience, even though my 35 year old body is hurting, and we lost every game. Where do you see unexpected discipleship opportunities around you?

Moving Beyond Misconceptions

Since arriving in the U.S. for home assignment, we've encountered some misconceptions about our life and ministry in Austria, missionaries in general and Austria in particular. I do not fault people at all for having these misconceptions. It is, of course, no one's fault that they have not had the opportunity to travel to Austria or that they haven't been exposed to some of the realities of missions, life in Europe or Austrian culture.  I thought it might be helpful, in light of these misconceptions, to try and address some of these questions, in an effort to educate and raise awareness about our life in Vienna.

1) Austria and Germany are basically the same country. 
This is BY FAR the most common misconception I have encountered regarding Americans' perceptions about Austria. I understand Austria is a small country, but it is a unique country and culture. However, because we speak German, many Americans get confused and refer to us as being from Germany. Or they ask us what it is like in Germany. I usually say, "I don't know. I've never been there."

The irony is that Austria and Germany are two very different countries and cultures. In Austria, people from Germany who move there often butt up against quite a few culture norms and standards that are unfamiliar to them. We also speak a different dialect of German than most of the people living in Germany. Austrians even make fun of the Germans a bit for their differences or "quirks" and vice versa. Lumping them together would be like someone saying that Canada and the U.S., or even the U.S. and England, are basically the same country, because they speak the same language.

2) Living in Europe is "glamorous".
I think much of Europe is beautiful, and we certainly live in a beautiful country and city. However, our everyday life probably looks like yours in many respects. We don't spend much time "playing tourist"; we have to work, run errands, buy groceries, do laundry, handle our medical needs and banking, and all of the other mundane things of life. Oftentimes, these tasks take more time for us living overseas than they do for someone in their home culture. In our free time, we often get together with friends for a meal or time together. Even though we live in a beautiful place, we still lead a normal life and nothing about it is glamorous.

3) Taking a vacation to another European country must be expensive and lavish.
Getting away from home as a family is something we value. Like most people, though, we live on a budget. When we plan family trips and vacations, we try to be careful about how we spend our money so that we can be wise stewards, while still having enough time away to get some rest. Living in Europe, this often means driving to a neighboring country or taking the train somewhere. A trip to Prague, Italy or Croatia might sound lavish and expensive to an American, but if done right, these trips are the cheapest options available to us (especially thanks to AirBnB!).

4) Language fluency is clear and measurable. You're either fluent or you're not.
We are often asked if we are fluent in German. This is a difficult question to answer, because we never woke up on a particular day and said, "finally, today, I am fluent!" Reaching fluency is something that is not able to be measured, and language learning is a fluid process. It is easier for us to describe our language ability, not in terms of language fluency, but in terms of particular situations where we are comfortable or proficient. For example, we could say, "Nate was able to preach in German 7 times during his internship," or "I no longer get nervous going to the visa office by myself," or "I have friendships in German where I feel like I can be myself and express myself".

5) Coming back to the U.S. is like "coming home".
I think I've written about this before...Many people greet us in the U.S. by saying "Welcome home!" While this is said with good intentions, it usually makes us squirm a little. Being in the U.S. no longer feels like our home and hearing the phrase brings up all sort of complicated emotions. Our home now is where our life is in Vienna, where we live, where our dog lives, and where our friends and church are.

6) Our home assignment time in the U.S. is a restful break.
This is a complicated one. Part of the reason WorldVenture asks us to come back to the U.S. is to take some time to rest and be back in American culture. We understand their reasons for this. The time here has been incredibly valuable. However, resting here has been a struggle for us. Traveling around, being away from home, lacking regularity and routine, staying in over 20 places over the course of 7 months...this temporary lifestyle is not very restful. It definitely has come with many blessings, but we don't ever feel fully at rest being away from home.

7) We are teaching Ellie German, and she's already growing up bilingual.
Many people are surprised when we tell them that Ellie doesn't know any German yet. However, our decision not to speak German with her has been very intentional. First, we want English to be our primary language at home so that we, as parents, can be most comfortable in our home environment speaking our native language. Second, our German is not perfect and never will be, so Ellie shouldn't be learning German from us. She should learn it from native speakers. Third, living in Austria and going through the school system, there is no doubt Ellie will become a fluent German speaker. We want to make sure she gets enough English in her life that she is truly bilingual and doesn't ever lose the English. Therefore, we are focusing on that first. She will start preschool this fall and be fully immersed in German for the first time.

8) It's easy to describe a foreign culture to someone who's never been there.
We get a lot of general questions about Austria, like "How are Austrians different from Americans?", "What is it like there?" or "Can you describe the culture?" These questions are so hard to answer, especially the longer we live there. Cultural differences are very complex and the longer I live in Austria and get to know more Austrians personally, the more I experience all of the different personalities that exist there, just like in every other culture. In every country, there is variance amongst people and for every "cultural norm", there are plenty of people who defy it. It gets harder and harder for me to fit Austria and it's people into a neat little box or tidy descriptions.

9) We live in the snow-capped Alps.
When many Americans picture Austria, they envision snowy mountains or scenes from the Sound of Music, where "the hills are alive". Yes, these places exist in Austria, but we live in the middle of an urban area in a city of 2,000,000 people. We do not ski, and we do not hike through the mountains regularly, nor do we spin in green fields like Julie Andrews, We only see the mountains a couple of times a year.

I hope these descriptions and answers shed a little more light on our life in Austria. We truly appreciate every question someone asks us about our life there, no matter how difficult they can be to answer.

Our Kangaroos are only at the Zoo

Part of being in the US is getting to share about our wonderful country! We get to tell people about the needs there and also how God is at work..

But one thing never changes...people confuse us with the "land down under". 

This came to the surface this morning when I opened up my news reader to see this photo from CNN. It came from Twitter. Although it is probably just an unfortunate typo, I thought it was pretty funny. "G'day mate, throw another shrimp on the barbie!" 

Du oder Sie?

The title of this post would literally be translated into English "You or you?" That's because, like many other languages, German has both formal and informal speech. (Having learned Spanish in high school, this was familiar to me when we started German language learning.) There is a form of "you" that you use with kids, friends and family and a form of you that brings along with it more respect and that you use with those older than you, people you don't know, etc.

Sounds simple, right? There are only two categories, so it must not be complex. But it's actually not simple. When to use Du (informal) or Sie (formal) can be challenging to figure out and the last thing you ever want to do as an "outsider" is to use the wrong form and offend someone. It's something we need to be careful about.

For example, a 30-year-old could be referred to by a bartender with the formal "Sie" out of respect, but be offended because it makes them feel old. Or a recent college graduate could be referred to with the informal "du" and feel like someone isn't taking them seriously or treating them like an adult.

I recently read an article in a German language magazine about when and how to use formal and informal language, and the crux of the article was this: it's not easy! Language and culture are always changing, so the "rules" of etiquette 5 years ago could be different now and with each generation, perceptions of formal and informal language morph and change.

The article laid out 10 general rules for use, as follows:

1) Friends and family: always informal

2)  Strangers who are adults: always formal

3) Children and youth: informal

4) Students talking to students (no matter the age) and those in a sports club together: informal

5) Speaking to employees at the bank, doctor's office, or in an official office: formal

6) Speaking to police:  always formal!

7) The older person in the relationship always offers the informal language and then the younger person can speak informally back.

8) The person in the relationship with the higher status offers the informal language first, regardless of age (i.e. a doctor to a patient, professor/teacher to student, etc.).

9) At the workplace, no one should be spoken to informally by someone to whom they would speak formally.

10) If you're unsure, always wait until the other person speaks informally to you, before speaking informally to them.

This last one is most important to us! As foreigners, we need to be especially careful when communicating in ways that could be considered offensive. Because we are not readily accepted, we want to hold ourselves to a high standard and always go out of our way to show respect and courtesy. We want to impress, rather than confirm a negative stereotype.

Thinking about this reminds me of the idea of being "above reproach" as Christians. Just as we want to be careful with our German language use, shouldn't we be even more aware of how we use every word and live our lives, setting an example for others? We should give no one reason to accuse us and we should not put the name of Christ to shame (I Peter 3:14 - 16). May we live lives above reproach, always setting an example, showing respect and demonstrating love. By this, they will see Christ in us!

Photo credit: Yoel from morguefile.com 

This May Never Change

Yesterday, Nate stayed home with Ellie while I spent a couple hours sitting at a coffee shop by myself. Having the chance to get some things done at my own pace was a refreshing change to most days, spent caring for Ellie and Mozzy (yes, Mozzy makes my life difficult, too!). Ironically, I was seated at a table in the coffee shop next to a screaming baby...but at least I didn't have to do anything about it! But I digress...

At the end of my few hours, I asked the waiter to pay. (You always need to ask here. It's their way of respecting your opportunity to stay as long as you want.) The waiter told me the total for my latte would be $4.10. Typically here, very little tip is given in a restaurant and costs are usually rounded up, so the waiter was expecting me to give him $4.50 or $5 for the drink. However, I was in a good mood and he gave good service, so I handed him 6 euros and told him he could keep the extra. This decision I made was completely intentional - I understood how much the drink cost, but wanted to give more.

He looked at me oddly and said again, more slowly "$4.10". I said, "Yes, I know." He said, "No, $4.10" and handed me back the extra euro I had given him, assuming I had not understood him correctly. It was awkward. I said to him, "Well, I wanted to give you more, but ok." and the conversation ended.

This may not sound like anything significant, but the situation frustrated me. The reality is that no matter how fluent I become in the language or how well I understand the culture, these situations will continue to happen. Someone will hear my accent and make assumptions about my lack of understanding. They will try to clarify, attempting to be helpful, but only reminding me that I am an outsider. They will hear my accent and switch to speaking English, thinking they are making my life easier, when they are actually making me self-conscious about my German.

This may never change. In fact, our colleagues here in Vienna who have been here for 30 years have said this still happens to them sometimes. The real challenge is just letting these situations roll off your back and giving someone the benefit of the doubt...praying for patience once more and for God to give you the strength to accept that, yes, you are an outsider and yes, this is where you are meant to be...allowing these situations to remind you that, in reality, we are all outsiders in this world, bound for a much better place.

Baking for Ministry

Last night, Bethany and I spent a chunk of time baking. We were preparing to spend some time with folks from Encounter Church in Darien, CT and to give them an authentic Austrian experience, we made a chocolate torte and an apple strudel. We have gotten to know everyone down at that church over the last few months, and we are excited to have this time together to talk about what God is doing in Austria and how He is preparing us to minister there.


Here is a quick photo diary of our baking adventure!

pealed and waiting to be chopped

Apples and raisins getting the sugar and lemon juice treatment

One last brush of melted butter
(there is a lot of melted butter in this thing)

Baking in the oven

Finally dusted with powder sugar and looking crispy and flaky

Christ and Culture: Two Simple Questions

I just read a quote about missions that applies to all of us:

"If [Christians] are to have any influence at all, [we] will touch upon culture every time [we] speak and wherever [we] work. For better or worse...[we] are agents of cultural change in accordance with the commands of Christ (matt. 28:20). It is important, therefore, that [we] have a biblical view not only of Christ but also of culture.  [We] must recognize that every culture has elements of divine order and satanic rebellion; each has potential for the revelation of God's truth and for its concealment or mutilation." - David Hessselgrave

For better or worse, we are all ambassadors for Christ. There is a tremendous need for the people of God to understand and engage with the culture that surrounds them.  This doesn't mean that we seek to blend in; we are not cleverly disguised.  


The question of cultural engagement is a challenging one, and not something I hope to tackle in this post, but the reality is that every action we take is in a cultural context.  


The questions become: 


Are you aware of what you are communicating? 


Are you communicating what you want to be communicating?


These aren't questions to answer easily, and they must be answered prayerfully and in community.


Photo credit: grietgriet from morguefile.com

Mentors are Golden

For as long as we had cable in our apartments, I have been a fan of Mike Rowe.  His show Dirty Jobs has highlighted jobs all over the country  and the silent heroes that make our life possible. I have found him thoughtful, as he testified to congress on the lack of skilled labor in America today and the systemic issues that underlay that problem.

This morning I stumbled upon a story Mike wrote and recorded remembering his mentor Fred King. I encourage you to grab the audio file and sit with a nice beverage or in the car on your next 30 min. car ride and listen to they story.  You will be glad you did.

Photo credit: mconnors from morguefile.com

Why Do Americans Act Like That?

Do you ever think about American culture and what makes us different from other cultures and countries around the world? I admit that even though I'm preparing to live in a foreign country, I don't always think critically about the assumptions and values that are a part of my life as a result of growing up in the U.S.

I just came across a really interesting article that provides an overview of some distinctives of American culture. I think the author hit the nail on the head... Reading it definitely made me recognize the things that I will not be able to assume when I live in Austria. I can confidently say that I value everything on this list...sometimes to a fault.

Here is the list of things that the author says are valued in America (I would encourage you to read the article for a more full explanation):

1. Personal control over the environment; Personal responsibility
2. Change is seen as natural and positive
3. Time and It's Control
4. Equality/Fairness
5. Individualism/Independence
6. Self Help Initiative
7. Competition
8. Future Orientation
9. Action/Work Orientation
10. Informality
11. Directness/Openness/Honesty
12. Practicality/Efficiency
13. Materialism/Acquisitiveness

What aspects of American culture have most impacted your values?