Processing and Reflecting

a view up in the Alps

16th century castle ruin near the camp

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to travel to Reutte and go see our interns. Reutte is in Tirol, which is in the bone part of the "chicken wing" of Austria. It is also in the Alps. It was an trip filled with extreme beauty as I took the long bus ride through the small villages and town. It is also the kind of place where you take a picture, look down and realize that it just doesn't capture what you are seeing. 

As much as I did get to see a few things, my primary focus was not to ride through the mountains. My main focus while there was to check in with our interns on the second leg of their journey in Austria. The first half of their time here is encapsulated by this post here.

view from the ruins

So I set off to spend the weekend there and connect with our interns. It was a great time of encouragement and seeing the work that God is doing among the students at camp. I got to do both a large group debrief with all of our interns at once as well as one-on-one times to check in with each individual intern. Through all these conversations a few key themes rose to the top. As I have processed through these ideas, I realize how important they are, not just for short term camp ministry, but also as general life principles. In my next few posts, I hope to discuss some of these ideas and draw out some of these connections.

There is a climbing section
in the grocery store

As I talked to our interns, one topic that came up over and over again was expectations. The more time I spend in cross-cultural ministry, the more I see how our expectations of a situation shape how we experience it. In our missions training, we talked often about how difficulty can be compounded based on our expectations of a given situation. When we walk into a situation expecting it to be different, expecting it to be challenging, expecting a curve ball, we often are not surprised when things don't go smoothly. But if we expect things to flow smoothly, it hurts all the more when we have to adapt and change. In this way, it is like a rubber band around our waist. The farther apart our expectations and reality are, the more the "snap" hurts.

One of the major challenges to this is it is often a backwards looking thing. We don't often get to know or understand that our expectations for a situation are violated until after we feel the snap. *So often that emotional difficulty is a signal to us that our beliefs or expectations have been violated. But if we just focus on the the experiential side of it (what happened and how does that make us feel) - we can miss the chance to explore our beliefs and expectations. We miss the chance to see what is usually unconscious and learn more about ourselves.

This applied in so many ways to the interns. They were navigating cross-cultural relationships with campers, staffers, and even with co-counselors from different regions of the US. They had so many opportunities to evaluate their expectations of relationships and situations. Everyone that has worked at camp knows how intense it is working together closely with people from all different backgrounds. If we had given our interns a pad of paper and a pen before they left for camp, they probably would not have been able to list the expectations that they are now processing through. 

In my next few blog posts, I'll explore other factors and topics from our debrief time with the interns and how they shape cross-cultural experiences.
*I first heard this taught at a college group at Friendship Church in 2006 or so. I have tried to track down a book or teacher to attribute this to, but to no avail. If this sounds familiar, I'd love to know what book this comes from.

Working Through It

Ellie, Mama & Mozzy reunited

Last week, Bethany and I were able to get away for a few days. Bethany's parents watched Ellie, which was something they really enjoyed! It was so good for us to have some time away to relax and rejuvenate. Ellie did really great with Grammy and Grampy and had a lot of fun.

But our first day back, when we tried to put her to bed, she started crying and would not go to bed until Bethany rocked her and got her to sleep. This never happens and in the beginning, we were really confused. She is just getting to the point where she can express what she is thinking about through words or phrases. Last night, as Bethany was putting her to bed, she was saying things like "Mama back" and "Papa back." She was processing her experiences in her own way and working through it all. She was still processing the fact that Mama and Papa were gone but came back.

Part of being an adult means that we get better at stuffing our challenges and issues down and not dealing with them. Ellie thankfully hasn't learned this yet and processes her thoughts and challenges out loud. For us, it is easier to forget or shove things aside and try to forget about them instead of dealing with our issues. A fundamental part of the gospel is that we are not able to heal ourselves and that we need to confess that inability to God and to ourselves. Once we respond to God's calling on our lives, which is to live in communion with Him, we are called into a process of healing and restoration. As we confess our sins, fears and weakness to God and to others, we are able to access the power of the Holy Spirit that continues to transform our hearts! It is a beautiful and painful process of letting go of idols and leaning on our creator.

I needed this reminder to engage in this process. Transformation is a constant process. We need to keep working through it!

Milestones

When we started this language learning process, I was unsure about the middle stages. To be fair, I still am pretty unsure. I had a sense of the beginning...I knew what it was to start. It is easy to envision learning (or relearning, as was my case after a few years of high school German) basic verbs and nouns. I could envision learning basic sentences about dogs jumping and people running or cooking. But I have been amazed and encouraged at the other milestones we have encountered along the way. Here is a brief recap, in no particular order, of those spots along the way.

I clearly remember my first conversation when I felt like I spoke mostly German for an evening. I was at a restaurant with a few guys and celebrating Reformation Day. I remember the conversation was about language learning, and I was so amazed as I walked home that day, thinking that I actually had a conversation in German! The interesting thing about that memory is that later, I got together with the guy I talked with that night and his memory of the evening was the opposite of mine. He remembers that we spoke mostly English that night! I think it reminds me that this process is just that - a process. 

Today, I went into a climbing store because I wanted to look around. I mean come on, it's a climbing store and I like climbing. So I wandered around for a little while and finally someone looked at me and asked me if needed help. I asked a few questions and laughed with the guy behind the counter (most climbers are laid back and willing to chat about stuff). Later on in the afternoon, I was talking to a fellow language learner and I realized that I hadn't done something earlier. I hadn't rehearsed. One stage of language learning involves a lot of mental rehearsal before a social interaction, especially with a stranger. To be honest, it is emotionally draining. You think through exactly what you are looking to get out of the conversation and then what you expect them to say, or what questions you expect them to ask. So the fact that I went to the climbing store without mentally rehearsing anything, had a comfortable conversation and had no stress was an important milestone.
I would definitely not say that I am through the woods regarding language learning. I still have a long way to go, but it is great to look back and see times that were once difficult are not so hard today. It is great to see growth. 




Photo credit: Seemann from morguefile.com

Another 3 Months

It seems like our lives have been stints of 3 months for quite awhile now.

We haven't been stationary for much more than 3 months in a long time. In the States before we left for Europe, we bounced around the country as we said goodbye to people and places and raised support. It was a lot of transition all the time. So...coming to Vienna was a nice change. Compared to our last year, arriving in Vienna felt like our first semi-permanent situation in awhile.

But now we have closed out those first 3 months, and we are on to our second to last section of the journey here in Lichfield, England. We're so new here, I had to look up the spelling of the town. We are excited to see what God does with our time here, but it still a bit difficult to adjust yet again to a new place. We can't wait to learn from our co-laborers here and to get involved in the ministry they are doing. We are so thankful that God has walked with us on the journey, and we know that He will continue to provide all that we need.

The transition here was hard. I think it was the combination of a quiet Christmas away from our families, lots of free time to think about that, the stress of our visa application process, and having to pack up and move again. All of that made for an emotional last week in Vienna. I think Bethany and I are both thankful that we made it through the last week, and we can begin the settling process in this new place.

The constant through all of this has been God's faithfulness. Even though transitions are tough, it's been evident that God's hand has been in each one. We've had places to stay, needed resources, and supportive team members and friends at each juncture. He has gone before and paved the way in really clear ways. We're so thankful.

And so, the adventure we call 'following God' continues!

What is the adventure that God has you on right now?