The Last Day

Today, we get on a plane and fly across an ocean. We have sold or stored everything we own except for the seven suitcases we are taking with us to the airport today. We sold our car yesterday. It was the last piece of the puzzle. Our world has already changed in so many ways, but today we step off into a huge pile of brand new things. I can't explain what it feels like to be here. I really wish I could. Overwhelming sounds like a really great explanation, until it happens to you. Then it gets a little more complicated.

The question we have received most often recently is, "what does it feel like?" I wish I had a straight forward answer to that. It feels like so many things. When I reach into my "feelings bag", so many emotions vie for my attention. I am somewhere between excited but not sure what to expect, afraid of the unknown, and saddened at the loss. Most of the time I'm not sure how I should feel.

All of this brings me to yesterday, where I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. We had just sold our car, and I was feeling the weight of all that was going on around me. I have been reading through Isaiah (more like slogging through it...reading all of the oracles concerning this people and that people was challenging.) In chapter 40, Isaiah launches into a very poetic expression of the character of God. Much of it Handel grabbed for the Messiah oratorio. The end of the chapter was exactly what I needed.

Isaiah 40:28 - 31
²⁸ Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
    his understanding is unsearchable.
²⁹ He gives power to the faint,
    and to him who has no might he increases strength.
³⁰ Even youths shall faint and be weary,
    and young men shall fall exhausted;
³¹ but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;    they shall walk and not faint.

The whole chapter is about how frail and weak we are, reminding us that we serve a God that does not change. Reading this passage was an important reminder for me. This journey fits into the context of God's plan and He will care for us.

What God Told Me in the Wilderness

A beautiful sunset on our last day of camping

When I am exploring the wilderness and experiencing creation, I meet God. It is inevitable;  when I'm given the opportunity to get away from the conveniences  and comfort of home, technology, buildings and society and escape to places of natural beauty, I cannot help but see God's character demonstrated in the stars of the sky, the colors of the leaves, and the pristine beauty of His creation.

And in the wilderness, I am no longer distracted by the noise of everyday life. I can more easily listen to God, and in the peace and quiet of the forest, I hear God's still, small whisper.

Last week, we ventured into the Boundary Waters Canoe Area for a 4-day, 3-night canoe and camping trip. For 3 days, we explored lakes without seeing another person. Each night, the stars were bright and beautiful. And I was overwhelmed by the bigness of God's creation. The Boundary Waters alone are over 1,000,000 acres of natural forests, rivers and lakes! And God crafted this area just as precisely as he designed the deserts, oceans, lakes, rivers and mountains all over the earth. God is so big - so much bigger than all of this, even the vast creation that we experience when we venture into the wilderness.

This wilderness experience was a good reminder for me. God is so big and great; He is above all of His creation. He is the beginning and the end. So, why is it that I spend so much time worrying? Why is it that I expend emotional effort concerned about the financial support we need to raise and the preparations we need to complete before heading to Austria?

Isn't God so much bigger than all of that?
If He created the world, how much more can he handle our fears, concerns and challenges?

In the wilderness, God reminded me that He is big. He reminded me that He has all of this under control. Not only did He create the heavens and the earth, but He also directs and guides our lives and meets our needs.  I have nothing to fear.