Saturday, March 28, 2009

we are to that point

We are to the point where whenever we say our wedding date, the other person's eyes get really big and they say something like, "wow that is really soon!" I think it is one of the only times that we as a couple are wandering around on the cusp of a major life change and don't really physically appear to be there yet. For example, if we were having baby, it would be pretty obvious if you just looked at Bethany (especially 3 weeks before the due date!). I guess maybe we would be in this position if we were adopting a child. But even that is so much more private, there isn't the same comparison.

It is a fascinating proposition, to stare at yourself in the mirror and say, "I am right on the edge of a story that I will tell for the rest of my life." There is a surreal quality to all of this. I felt this way acutely when I was in Bosnia for my internship. People would tell me, and I would tell myself, that this experience will shape how I view the world for a long time. So what exactly does the monumental feel like? Is it supposed to be that much different than a normal Tuesday?

I guess I am just marveling at the fact that in the end it will be exactly like everyone says. I will forget what I did most Tuesdays or even most Saturday nights for that matter. But on April 18th something mystical and lovely is going to happen. And it will shape how I think and feel and see the world for the rest of my life. And there really isn't anything that I can do to make most Saturdays more normal and that day any less abnormal - in a good way. I think the best I can do is to ride it out. Ride the emotional and surreal waves of life and drink what I can from those cups while they are my table for that day.